Memories

I often wonder why we keep our memories. I think that we grow up too fast and we only remember the things we don't want to forget. To me, memories are a burden. Why is it that when we feel an accomplishment, we treasure those things as memories? You know what I'm talking about like the trophies you win at games, the work you put so hard in class, and all the simple stuff (slash) things that we can't seem to throw away.

Two years ago, I decided to throw away my “little” memories that I kept. It reminded me too much of the past. You can ask, how can someone do such a thing, do I have any feelings? All I can say is that I don't really regret not keeping my memories because it’s mine. What a simple answer right? Yes, my memories are mine that is why I don’t want to keep them. What if you became a memory of mine, would I throw you away too?
I asked myself that every day. Am I a part of your memory? Or are you mine? Friends, coworkers, socials, teachers, networkers, and even families, do I want to keep them in my memory at all? You see, the reason I thought this way is because everyone I know is not DEAD, they are happily alive living the past and present of their memories. But how should I really know, I haven’t talk to half of them for the past 10 years. My elementary teachers, my middle school friends, my high school education, my distant relatives, and my ongoing present college life are all part of a memory that I didn’t acknowledge. I am the worst friend of all, the kind of friend who would forget your face and name within the year, but only come to remember your birthday if you ever told me so.

In reality, I know that we strived so hard to go into a career, further our education, we might even know more things than any other people in this world, and we can have everything or maybe nothing in this world, but I would never know if someone is truly happy.

I’m satisfied with living in the present. But that would be like telling a lie, I would rather be a liar rather than a hypocrite. I do hold on to the big memories, the memories that make me laugh, and the memories that made me cried. If something can truly touch my heart, it becomes the best memory for me. But if my memories hold me back, how am I supposed to move on forward? When memories are hold on for too long, you don’t gain any wisdom at all. Of course I don't know YOUR MEMORIES AND YOUR EXPERIENCES, but I was hoping that if I washed away the part of memories where I made several mistakes, my mind would become clear and I start over new every day. Because isn’t memories the ability to retain, recall, and store the past of our lives? That’s what memories all about and I just seemed to not hold on to the little ones.

Internet

I really dislike the internet now and days. I avoided facebook and myspace as often as I can so that I can get my homework done. The internet interferes and takes up a lot of time. I'm talking about weekdays where I do half my assignment and weekends, when I'm literally on it 20/24/3 (20 hours in the 3 days that I have off). When I'm writing essays or  listening to music, I hardly turn my CD player or actually write with a "pencil" anymore. One of the things on my shopping list to actually buy pencils. Yes, you can say that the internet give you efficient habits about politics, news, and music. It also is good for networking, friends, socializing and communication, but I on the other hand gets really disappointed often and later on, Id regret. Who'd though I stress over simple thing.

Lately, I haven't been doing what I'm suppose too.  For instant, studying. I love to study, what I do get done is my homework though, although I've been told that I'm an overachiever. I'd blame myself because I'm an Otaku (anime Lover) and I read a lot of manga (Japanese comic). I think internet is bad for me in a good way. Of course I'm caught up in most of the stuff I do, but sometimes I wish I could have done more. It's bad not to study for an upcoming quiz or test, but it's not that bad if i already know the materials. It's not like I want to forget completely all the lecture from my class, but yea Internet is like the devil, it's addicting and it keeps you wanting more.

As for that, I'm going to try to avoid the computer when I'm home, because in order to blog, I have to use the computer. But I bet beside useful technologies, I'm just going to go watch movies, I can't help making excuses and trying to avoid my homework, that's just the way I am :( I'll try my best to keep up though. :)

Hua Mulan

You guys must have watched or heard about the disney movie call "Mulan". Well, incase you didn't, I would refresh your mind. The movie "Mulan" is about a girl name Fa Mulan and due to her father's injury, she disguise herself in her father's armor to get into China's army which is only consist of males. Mulan is consider a disney Asian princess, but I never thought so because she is more like a warrior/army/soldier and come from No royal background.

Before I rambled on about Hua Mulan,  I want to share a brief description of who she is (which is pretty similiar) to the Disney movie. Instead, Hua was changed to Fa. In reality Mulan is based on a Chinese female name Hua Mulan. Hua Mulan comes from a Chinese poem call "A ballad with Mulan". Hua Mulan is a women who disguised herself to join the royal army in her father place, when disney recreated the movie they alter the show, but stood to the original story -line. Hua Mulan can be a fictional or non-ficitonal character depending on the Chinese audiences, just like American audiences to the Hercules myth.

Recently in 2009, a Live version of Mulan was made casting my favorite Chinese actress, Vicki Zhao Wei. The movie was also named as "Hua Mulan". I was super exciting, but unfortunately it's not available anywhere on the internet yet. So I'm gonna buy the DVD a.s.a.p. If you guys don't know Vicki Zhao, she is a singer, model, and actress in China. My all time favorite 1990s movie by Vicki Zhao was when she cast in a movie call "Romance in the rain", and she was also cast in "Shaolin Soccer" by Stephen Chow in 2002, who also directed "Kung Fu Hustle".

Zhao fits the perfect role of Hua Mulan. She play roles which she had acted like tomboy, but yet she can be feminine at the same time. Her attitude in movies are never really girly (unless the role requires her too), this is great, because I really dislike girly (and their mood swings) roles, and Zhao is also skilled in many martial art status. Of course this movie is not, (I repeat is NOT) a disney and in most Chinese movies, there are no such thing as HAPPY ENDINGS. Same with reality. You dont' wake up one day and marry your true prince and become a princess living in a big castle, you can dream it, but it's gonna get crushed. To face reality, Hua Mulan is really epic and shows encouragement treating female and male equality in war time. It opens my eyes while it was at it. I hope if you guys get the chance, you can support Hua Mulan movie, then you can decide or judge if you like it later on. A- go-go-go! Vicki Zhao Wei.

Vicki Zhao in Hua Mulan

Shoes

I have this morale story that pop in my mind relating to shoes. I know that the topic came about in my class, but I already had this upcoming idea. Ironic when people can read your mind right? Anyways, I decided to compare shoes to single parents who raised their children. Hopefully it's not too overdramatic and boring.

Do you even know why we wear shoes? Sometimes people forget to look at their shoes and just go on the day without ever noticing it. But just in case you forget, I'll tell you again why we wear shoes, it's because we want to protect our feet, easy right? But I don't think just that, I also think we want to feel protected no matter we go, not just relating to shoes.


But, girls and guys judge shoes differently because shoes come in all shape and sizes, high and low, new and sometime used qualities. A girl is a girl and guy is a guy, but a girl and guy were both born the same way and that is by both of their parents.

Along the way, you’ll find many hardship of single and divorce parents. Most of the time your first shoes was put on your feet by your parents, either mom or dad. We wear shoes to walk our first step outside, to take our first run and to drive our first car. Many girls like to wear more shoes than guys because they are picky about what they want in life. Yet, I observe some people said that more shoes = more education.

But, now, Imagine yourself having a single parent and put yourself in this person’s shoes. You find it common throughout history that divorce rate is higher than 50%. Even back in the old generations, people mouth the words all the time, that if you have two parents then you’re more likely to go to college and if you didn’t, then you were going to end up in jail because they assume you will grow up to be a bad kid. Don't get it wrong, but society has changed now and those negative thoughts are turned around often. I know I wasn't born in the 70s or 80s, but I have done my researches as well.

There's a reason why I don’t think you are a bad kid if you have only one parent. I think that you can have the same knowledge beyond the experience of a person who was raised by both parents. For example, I have experience an average life of many diversity and culture, knowing how far the world can take me, you and I can both work hard. Even most celebrities who became rich and famous were singlely raised by one parent and feel proud to admit it, Lil Bow Wow, Rain, Kimora Lee Simmons, Ayumi Hamasaki, etc..the list goes on.

As people mature into new shoes, they grow wiser little by little, they begin to understand others pain and suffering. When you buy shoes, you take the first step towards a PATH. It's nice to accept others and being true to yourself no matter where you were taught in life, even before or after you wore someone else’s shoes. If you're asking, "But, I don't wear anybody's else shoes?". That's not what I'm saying, it's like asking you about putting yourself in someone else shoes to understand them.

 Simply the kind of shoes that you are wearing now is who you are. If you grow out of your shoes, throwing it away is the same as losing a memory, donating it is like giving the memory to someone else, and keeping it might become a memory that is blocking the way (still to stuck to the past).

It doesn’t make you cooler or smarter if you were raised by both parents, you are the same like any other kid who was raised by homosexual couples (who still have both to raised you) or a single parent ( who loved you as much as two parents).

REAL YOU

               It was hard to see many people who couldn’t be themselves back in high school. I know because I had this experience. Common things as why we couldn’t find the right word or basically what students struggle with all applied to me as a teenager. We couldn’t be hit the direct way of learning about confidence and finding our moral rights. Even if we could express ourselves, those who haven’t been in our shoes will find our situation a little bit confusing. This is because our experiences define us who we are and sometimes those who aren’t involved in our lives will find it aggraviting or simply uncaring. What if I should look at it in a different way and wore everybody shoes? Then I would be like everybody else, call it the easier way out trying to be myself, and everybody who can’t figure out the real them can be just like me.

               Let’s look at one of the common situations why we can’t be the real us. We sometimes act upon ourselves differently then when we are at home. Not everyone agree that this defines them, but in most cases, these trivial matters applied to all. The person we hang out with defines us who we are, what we eat, and where we sleep. It is also how we are judge in society. Could we ever be more direct as if we couldn't find the real us because we don't know who we really are? I don't know about you, but I've already knew myself way before anyone begins to, pretended to, or even acted like they knew me. Really common in society don't you think? I want to know the real you and by that, show yourself for who you are. Not what someone labeled or want you to be. And then, if ever I am judged by not being the Real Me, then I wouldn't know how to responded to someone who doesn't know me that well.

I'd admit that sometimes I don't feel like being myself and I would rather be a cartoon character, so in 2008, I dressed up as Rikkyu from Final Fantasy X (10). What do you think, am I not being the Real Me?









 

Why I love Ayumi Hamasaki

Don't take this wrong, but I love Ayumi Hamasaki because whenever I do my homework or I need to listen to soft music, her voice soothes me to think and sleep well. I'm not a poet, and sometimes I wish I can use rhymes to tell my feeling about each and every idol I had love. Maybe the music I listen to isn't your type because I only listen to pop music and I would rather choose pop music over, Rap and Rock.

These are my few choices, hopefully they are not a bad list. Inlcuding country- pop, jazz, R&B, and Ballad.
In America: I love many different artist including Taylor Swift, Lady Gaga, Ciara.
In Korea: I love artist such as BoA, Hyori, Big Bang, 2NE1, SNSD, WonderGirls.
In China: I love artist such as S.H.E, Jolin Tsai, Jay Chou.
In Japan: I love Koda Kumi, Namie Amuro and most of all my love to AYUMI HAMASAKI.

And there are 12 reasons why I love her.

The reasons I love her is because of her eyes.
The reasons I love her is because of her style.
The reasons I love her is because she is nice.
The reasons I love her is because of her smile.

The reasons I love her is because she knows pain.
The reasons I love her is because it's my trait.
The reasons I love her is because she works hard.
The reasons I love her is because tis' my fate.

The reasons I love her is because she's my idol.
The reasons I love her is because of her voice.
The reasons I love her is because of her music.
The reasons I love her is because it's my choice.

So there you have it, I really do love Ayumi Hamasaki. She's an inspiring artist, not only in America but all across Asia and Europe. Dubbed as the "Denim Queen" and "Pop Empress". I Know I'm bad with Poems. But, at least you can still enjoy her Music video "JEWEL" below. Her best MV are one of the second best to MICHAEL JACKSON. SO WHAT AND WHO IS YOUR FAVORITE ARTIST AND SONG?

The #1 Movie in America

I guess we all know or already heard about that narrator on your flat, screen TVs who always say the same thing to every movie that hit box office, “Americans #1 Movie is...(...)...”. I found it ironic because there so many #1 movie in America. I can't keep track of all of them. Sometimes, I find movies that hit box office to be outrageous and bogus. For instance, let's take a closer look at "Fast and Furious", we all know that here in America, no male or female is gonna get on the street on a highway bridge and start racing around. Maybe in Eastern countries, but here, we get a so call "TICKET", (there goes a $350 dollar fine).

In my opinion, we take a lot of credit of other movies that came out first and simply turn it into an original (when it's not so original). For example, Legend of Speed (1999) vs. Fast and Furious (2001).

But, then you can fall in love with an actor in your favorite movie and blast off about how cool it is. But if it didn't even reach to many hearts like yours you'll find yourself disappointed.

Then we have those narrators who goes, “Based on The Best Selling author……in America”, “Best Director”, and so on. Okay, so how many best authors/directors are out there? Who should we appreciate more? I guess we don't really have to favor just one single AUTHOR or DIRECTOR. :)

I know that after searching for gross movies, “Titanic” and "Gone to the Wind" are going to be the number one highest selling movie here, but how about the thousands of movies that were NUMBER ONE in our 21st century?? Every single 3 week of one month, we have a new film shown in our theatre. You picked a comedy film to watch that day, then you go home complaining how "dull" that movie was, turned on your TV, and that narrator guy pops out to say, “America’s #1 funniest video”. So not what you think right??

Now I understand that he sometimes said “Of the year” after he goes #1, but I think it would be more appropriate if he goes something like “This is the #58 (#1) Movie in America” or something to actually represent why it is -what it is. But who keeps track anyways? In Hollywood, all movies are consider to be number one, we promote ourselves before we promote others, so why should we care? Movies after movies, in such a long time does give us a better view of understanding the world. But it sure did make us forgotten about old ones and think about new ones. After all the narrator had said so many #1 movies in America: Pirates of the Caribbean, Twilight, Avatar, Time's Travelers Wife, etc... we’ve already have so many #1 movies, might as well expect it next month.

By the way, if you like Avatar and is wondering if it hit other countries, you'll surprisingly find that it's not necessarily #1. :)

Why Asian girls dye their hair blonde?

I am Asian, but why do I dye my hair blonde? Actually my hair is brown, but I do dye my hair a lighter color. All I can say is that if Asian girls dyed their hair blonde, it is not because she wants to look or act “Caucasian”. The answer is obviously because Asian girls had been inspired by the old European beauty. Even some Caucasian women, who were originally born brunette or red head, dye their hair blonde, but particularly the Asian race get picked on most when going to blonde or a lighter color.

If an African American person had blonde hair, no one asked why she wants to look Caucasian, and if a Mexican streak her hair blonde, it just looks cool because she's sexy Chica, but if an Asian girl dyes her hair blonde, people would ask why she wants to look “white”? That’s because most people are very ethnocentric about their own culture.

Take Japanese and Korean icons for example, who had been dying their hair blonde even back in the 80s. This is why the 21st century judge Asian with blonde hair. All of a sudden if you have "white mom" and "Asian dad" and you're hair turns black, but you want it blonde, then you're not suppose to because of your dad?? That's offensive to her pride, what if she wants to look like her mom? We all come from a different background and if you’re hair is black and you want to add blue streaks, go for it!! I ENCOURAGE YOU to go for any color you wish for ( go Gray if you want).

It might sound weird to say that only rich and popular people should go blonde like Pamela Anderson or Tila Tequila, and cruelly judge that they're are dumb or "stupid", but there are many Asian idols who inspired the "White", "black", "Gold", and "Brown" people, like Japanese idol: Ayumi Hamasaki.

By the way, I'm not picking on the "Caucasions", or also to "Asians" who ever thought this way. This is just my view on why no one own one or another color, they don’t define who owns blonde, red, pink, or green. Life in America, is where we choose our own politics and parties, meaning our own will, our own LIVES. (Which certainly puts a bound to those who care to think twice of an Asian going “white”). And with so many freedom, speeches, and expressions, all I can say is if you get out into the world more, you’ll find many lovely people in BLONDE especially in Asian girls.

An American Dream

The American dream is nothing more than everyone views on being capable to achieve in equality. To achieve something within ones’ life, we, Americans often set out our goals before we dream. Our dreams are set at a mind as an individual. We look forward to wealth, freedom, and happiness. All which are given to us by the same opportunity. In reality, an American dream does not have an exact definition. But associating to American lives, I describe the American dream of having any opportunity and freedom given and allow by the American citizens to achieve their goals through hard work and determination.

Thomas Jefferson once said, “American dream came through long and patience, from desperate war, to fight, to be on one side of another, and especially to be proud of every soldier who had fought for those of an American whose dream had came true”.
About the American dream, Thomas Wolfe once said, “…to every man, regardless of his birth, his shining, golden opportunity…the right to live, to work, to be himself, and to become whatever thing his manhood and his vision can combine to make him.” I've heard people said that the American dream has become the pursuit of material prosperity; that people work more hours to get better cars, bigger homes, given by the fruit of prosperity for their families, yet have less time to enjoy their own prosperity. The American dream is beyond the grasp of the working poor, who must work two jobs to insure their family’s survival. Yet more often, we look toward a new American dream with less focus on financial gain and more emphasis on living a simple and fulfilling life.

If equality from our American dream are more open minded for the individual who do look forward to working hard, the new society of having an American Dream are truly to be accepted in reality. This also applied that no true American dream would become proper unless someone begins work their blindfolds. Equality from the American dream is given to everyone with the same benefits, but it will not always be fair. Equality describes the American dream in its own way and how we describe our American dream is up to us.